scars and tears

scars and tears

corel painter essentials 3 adobe photoshop 7.0

*commentary
I'm such a crybaby, no, I am, a crybaby. I almost cry for everything, well, that doesn't include the emotion of joy
(that means no tears of joy,).
I cry when I am frustrated;when I can't even spell the word 'frustrated.' when I can't even get this geometry problem.
I cry when I am mad; when my parents says no without any reason, when that 2nd just treats me like shit.
I cry when I'm scared; when my dad faints and is hospitalized, when I am all alone and I hear footsteps that doesn't belong to anybody in my family.
I cry when I'm sad; when the stupid soap opera's main character's friend's son kills himself, when I get a D on the L.A. final exam (well , it's the mix of fear and sadness).
I cry when I disire somthing so badly; when I want to cosplay so badly, when I want to see my mvp of my life so bad.
I cry when it hurts; when my finger had to get stitched because of an 'accident', when my dad slapped me so hard I fell on the ground.

I mostly just cry on everything, anytime, anywhere. really.
I cry during class, mass, room, chruch, closet, whereever you can think of, and I cry for the stupidest reasons on earth. It's just weird, when I was in korea and shortly after I came back from korea, I really never cried over emotion. I don't know, maybe it's puberty, maybe I became a retard. I don't know.

It really hurts when I cry; my stomach gets upset, I throw up eventually, my lungs compresses, I have short breath like I'm getting an asthma attack, my head hurts like an army is shooting at my head, my spine feels like they're twisting, my eyes burns, I can't even stand right, I just go crazy: attemption of suicide, self harming (no, I don't 'cut' , breaking everything I can grab.


yes, the 'emo wave' : ) I'm just feeling kind of depressed the pasf 'few' weeks and I just can't get over with them , and I exploded so badly today to my dad that now I feel really guilty saying all those shits .